


Sacrifices Must Be Made

by missjmelville



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Season/Series 01, Angst, Ascension, Drama, M/M, Temporary Character Death, Wraith, Wraith Feeding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-02-02
Updated: 2008-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missjmelville/pseuds/missjmelville
Summary: John gritted his teeth as the Wraith bent down, lifted him up and pinned him against the wall of the cave opening, one hand around his throat, the other ripping his shirt open.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Sacrifices

**Author's Note:**

> I realised I hadn't posted this one here yet, it is yet another incomplete multi-chaptered fic. Maybe posting it here will encourage me to finish it one day.

John Sheppard ran as fast as his aching legs would carry him. _Almost there,_ he thought to himself through the haze of pain. He almost lost his balance tripping over a tree root. He heard a bang, _sounded like a gunshot,_ and just as that thought made itself known, a tremendous pain in his lower back made him stumble and fall. He rolled head over heels for twenty metres, his momentum carrying him farther and faster than he ever could even with the Wraith's encouragement.

Landing on the hard ground with a thud and a soft "oomph" as the air was forced out of his lungs, he slid a couple more feet across the dirt and stopped. Just as quickly as it had all started, he was on his feet again stumbling and gasping for breath. The pain seemed to be receding, his legs feeling numb. _That can't be good,_ he thought as he continued staggering as fast as he could to reach his destination.

He knew even before all of this started that he wasn't going to make it out alive, and the fact that his team had already gone back through the 'gate only cemented the thought into his mind. At least he hoped they had gone through; if they hadn't by now then they surely would be dead. He kept running, trying very hard not to think about why his back wound wasn't giving him more pain because right now it had dwindled to a little twinge with every second step. 

Then there was another loud bang, and something whizzed past his ear. Puffing and wheezing, he sped up a little hoping to get out of range. Another bang, then pain again, this time in his left leg. He couldn't run anymore and he stumbled to the ground, landing flat on his stomach and breathing hard. He was dizzy and getting worse; the pain wasn't there, and that scared him. Unwillingly his mind started to wander.

___________________________________

"No, I'm sick of you always risking your life for us, I'll go!"

"Nice try McKay, but we all know you value your life higher than anyone else's. I'm going and that's that." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared lightly at Rodney who deflated his puffed out chest and looked perturbed.

"Fine, but at least tell us where you're going, so we can find you when we get back," he said, looking at John stubbornly and then relaxing his glare as he received John's serious look and a nod in response.

"I'll head through the forest and then out the other side towards the caves we saw earlier, I'll be there when you get back, ok?"

Rodney looked away, swallowing tightly and then nodded. The sound of a Wraith dart passing dangerously close to their position knocked them back into action, and John roughly pushed and yelled at the other members of his team "Get your butt's moving back to that gate NOW!" John immediately started sprinting in the opposite direction, leading the Wraith away from his team.

Seeing him out in the open, running for the cover of trees, the Wraith decided to pursue him on foot. It worked, they were targeting him, leaving his team free to dial home to get reinforcements.

He was running hard and fast as he heard more darts whizz by overhead, searching for him as the Wraith on the ground ran to catch up. He noticed suddenly, as he turned back to see how close, that they had different weapons. The Wraith noticing his glance, fired, and a bullet like object went whizzing past. _Damn no more stunners,_ he thought as he realised these would most definitely cause pain.

_________________________________

Opening his eyes, he became aware of a crunching noise close by, _snap out of it!_ He thought to himself fiercely as he turned his head getting a good view of muddy boots. He tried so very hard to not move. Maybe it would think him dead and leave, but it was too late; it was close enough to see his head move. The Wraith leant down and picked him up by the back of his shirt. He struggled to no use, his legs weren't responding anymore. He was getting a weird tingling sensation in his thighs, and it was making its way up his spine. That didn't seem good at all.

He was tossed roughly, and that was when he realised he had made it to the caves, just. He landed in the entrance and his heart soared as he thought, maybe, just maybe his team might get back with reinforcements on time. A boot to his side, and he was rolled over onto his back, another blow punctuated by a loud crack and a faint stab of pain that told him that his ribs were now cracked. He groaned and tried to focus his eyes on the Wraith now standing over him like some foul vulture.

"Stop moving!" he managed to croak out at the Wraith as if it would listen to anything he said. The Wraith smiled an evil bone-chilling smile and laughed.

"I am not moving, human," and he laughed some more. John gritted his teeth as the Wraith bent down, lifted him up and pinned him against the wall of the cave opening, one hand around his throat, the other ripping his shirt open. He had a split second's warning before he realised he was definitely not making it out of this alive, and then that cold hand was on him.

He could feel it slowly draining his life, a pain so deep that it seemed to come from his very soul. His focus became even fuzzier as he felt his eyes droop. This was it, his last moments. He wished he had at least been able to die with some dignity. _Like blowing yourself up to save Atlantis_ , his mind supplied as he remembered that day, which when he really thought about it would've been a much better way to die than this.

His mind drifted away from all the pain and suffering, and he retreated into himself, determined to not let the Wraith ruin his last moment by clouding his vision with crazy eyes and savage teeth and life-sucking hands. A shiver made its way down his spine, and he noticed with a weird sense of detachment that it seemed to stop at his ribs. And then, as everything went black, he took his last breath in the presence of the now satisfied Wraith. John was content, and there was not one thing in his now almost-spent life that he regretted, and curiously, unlike most victims of the Wraith, he died with a smile on his face, finally at peace.


	2. Broken

"Get your butt's moving back to that gate NOW!" Major John Sheppard yelled as he ran away from his team and into the forest beyond, drawing the Wraith Darts away.  


Teyla and Aiden had already started running back towards the ‘gate, and Rodney was forced to run faster or risk being left behind. Darts flew overhead turning around and going back the other way. _Following John_ Rodney thought, uneasy. The three of them ran their fastest, although no Darts were after them it was still a risk if they went too slow. 

Aiden made it to the ‘gate first and dialled Atlantis, the wormhole activated with a loud ‘whoosh’ that drowned out the sound of the Darts for a second and then they were running through. Coming out the other side in Atlantis and yelling at the technician to put the shield up, Rodney bent over panting and clutching a stitch in his side. None of them were hurt, so they headed straight up the stairs for their debriefing with Elizabeth. 

She was already waiting for them in the conference room knowing something had gone wrong for the team to be back half an hour early and with one less member. “What happened? Where’s John?” she asked, worry evident in her eyes. 

“It was the Wraith,” Teyla said in a grave voice before continuing, “They arrived as we were on our way back. If it were not for John we would not have made it out as they had us surrounded.” 

At this point Aiden jumped in, “He ran in the opposite direction, distracting them and giving us enough time to get to the ‘gate ma’am,” he said “We need to go back right now with a team of marines.” 

Rodney entered the room last and took the seat furthest from his team-mates. Staring at his lap, all he could think about was that they had abandoned John, and for all they knew, the Wraith already had him. The debriefing continued for a few minutes more in which he merely nodded or shook his head when it was needed. 

"We have to be certain the Wraith are gone before I risk any more lives. John wouldn't want it any other way." Elizabeth was firm, and she radioed the control room to send a MALP through the 'gate. 

Elizabeth made them wait for a full, agonizing hour while the MALP sent telemetry of swarming Darts before the life-sucking vampires finally disappeared from the alien skies. 

Finally, she allowed SGA-1 to lead two squads of marines through the Stargate. 

_________________________________ 

They walked quickly and efficiently, marines scouting the terrain ahead of the team, for half an hour already, and they were still only half way to the caves where John had said he’d wait for them. Before long, Ford suggested, "Why don't we split up and cover more ground. Teyla, you take the valley, and McKay you continue onto the caves. Anderson and I will take that forest to the east." 

One of the marines broke his formation and accompanied Rodney. Rodney was quiet; he couldn’t help but think something had gone terribly wrong. The marine escorting him, having heard all about how Rodney was a whining motor-mouth, looked at him curiously every few minutes before turning back to looking out for his Commanding Officer. 

Finally after another fifteen minutes of walking, the caves were in sight. Rodney's legs carried him quickly up the slippery shale gravel. He looked around and saw a slumped figure next to the cave entrance, and figuring John was sleeping, Rodney sped up and yelled out happily. 

“Major! John, we’re back, wake up!” As he watched, he realised that the figure wasn’t moving, so he ran faster and skidded to a halt in front of the corpse. Cold dread filled his insides. He fell to his knees beside the body of his friend not wanting to believe it was really him, but there hanging around his neck were the dog tags of John Sheppard USAF Major. 

“No, nonononono!" He grabbed at John’s vest as if holding it would bring him back. The tears that he had tried so desperately to hold were spilling down his face. Everything around him dissolved, nothing else, no one else existed except him and John. The smile on his friends face was so contrary to the grimace of pain on his own that he wanted to wipe John's away. John couldn’t be happy; he wasn’t allowed to be happy when Rodney wasn’t. 

He didn’t know how long he held onto the Major’s brittle body before he was prised away. All he knew was that John was gone and had taken a piece of Rodney with him. Rodney felt broken and empty. The tears subsided and he walked quietly back to the ‘gate, determinedly not staring at the body being carried by two marines. 

___________________________ 

The funeral was small with few words said; it was still hard to believe that the Military Commander, team-mate and friend that was John Sheppard was gone. The Marines and Air Force mourned their Commanding Officer in stoic silence, while the civilians and Elizabeth wept. Rodney had not shed a tear since his breakdown upon finding the Majors’ body. 

As the days wore on, everyone went back to their normal routines; Aiden was now Military Commander being the highest ranked member left. A new Marine was appointed to their team and missions continued as normal. Rodney had become withdrawn and only ever talked in briefings or when it was something of great importance. Gone were the constant complaints and the friendly bantering, for without John, it was never as enjoyable. 

_____________________________ 

Rodney entered the commissary only to realise he wasn’t hungry, figuring he should eat something anyway he grabbed a tray and contemplated what to take, finally settling on some of the casserole made from what was left of their rations from Earth. He made his way over to a table and sat down staring moodily at his food. A few minutes later he was joined by Carson who sat across from him. 

“Rodney you’re going to have to actually put that in your mouth to eat it,” he said smiling and when Rodney didn’t even so much as glance his way he frowned. “Rodney, did you hear me? Is everything alright?” he reached across the table and placed his hand comfortingly on Rodney’s hand. Feeling a hand suddenly on his own, Rodney’s head jerked up, he pulled his hand away and only then noticed Carson watching him worriedly. “Carson! What are you doing here?” his voice was dull and held no emotion. 

“I am allowed to eat Rodney,” he replied motioning the commissary with a sweep of his hand. Rodney looked around as if only just realizing where he was. 

“Huh. I thought I was in my lab,” he said sounding only mildly confused. 

“That’s it, you’re exhausted Rodney, if you don’t go and get some rest I will insist that you be relieved of your duties, including off world travel until you are in a better state.” 

“Fine, I’ll go rest now then.” He replied and headed out of the commissary and towards his quarters. Carson sighed if Rodney didn’t start taking more care of himself he would fade away. He had already lost a noticeable amount of weight and Carson knew he wasn’t getting more than a couple hours of rest each night. 

_________________________________ 

Rodney flopped down onto his bed only now realizing how bone-deep tired he was, his head hit the pillow and he was asleep before he could even contemplate getting changed. 

He was floating. No, that seemed wrong, he wasn’t floating he was just there, surrounded by some sort of fog that made it impossible to see where he was. A quiet yet familiar voice whispered to him, it seemed to be coming from the fog itself. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” the words echoed around, “I’m fine now; you don’t need to worry anymore. I’ll keep watch over you buddy, just try not to be joining me too soon.” He said laughter in his voice. 

Rodney looked around for the source of the voice, “Sheppard? John, is that you?” 

“Who else would it be?” 

Rodney turned around so fast that he almost fell over; standing there in front of him was John Sheppard. 

“Whoa, careful there buddy,” he placed a hand on Rodney’s shoulder to help him keep his balance. 

They stood there staring at each other for a long time until finally Rodney broke the silence. “You’re really here. I thought you were gone forever,” he ducked his head, hiding the slight blush on his cheeks, “I…I mean _we_ all missed you.” 

“I know,” John smiled his lopsided, you-know-you-want-me grin and started to fade away into the fog. “Goodbye Rodney” 

“Wait, John! Don’t go!” 

Rodney sat bolt upright in his bed sweating and shaking, the unspoken words _”I love you!”_ on his lips, not quite making it out.


	3. Returned

He could hear noise, loud noise. Cold, he was shivering, and wet. Wet from the rain, the loud noise was thunder. What was that? A flash of lightning, or was it a fire? Lightning, his brain supplied, he was in a thunderstorm, naked apparently. Aching muscles and the mother of all headaches was what waited for him in consciousness.

Bleary eyes cracked open only to shut again as icy raindrops attempted to get in his eyes. Now that he was becoming more alert he could feel the rain pelting into his skin as if it was trying to burrow inside. Icy and sharp like small shards of ice, hail maybe. His brain kept supplying him with words, things, and everything in general although he couldn’t remember. He didn’t know anything else, where was he? What was he doing wherever he was? _Who_ was he? These questions and more ran around inside his already pounding head. 

He knew that the soft squishy ground he was lying on was grass and mud, made slush by the rain. He knew it was rain and thunder and lightning, but he didn’t know how he knew. He knew he was a male, and that he was human. He knew the sky, trees, water, dirt, air, birds, and a whole host of other things. But nothing more than that, he didn’t know his name, although he knew he should have one. He was confused and he hadn’t moved for at least five minutes, his body was…what was his body? Numb. The word popped into his head. 

Struggling to stand up he managed to make his way clumsily into a small grove of trees nearby, and shelter from the freezing rain. 

___________________________________________ 

The trees had provided enough shelter that there were some dry twigs and small branches. Without thinking what he was doing he piled them up and started to hit two rocks together eventually he had a fire. The rain continued for many days, he found some suspicious looking yellow berries that he found to be quite nourishing. When the rain stopped, he decided to explore. 

___________________________________________ 

The strange world he was on seemed to be deserted, there were no signs of life, or a civilization. In the days following the stop of rain it had been cold and damp, naked though he was, it didn’t bother him too much. He hunted for wildlife by night and slept most during the days, he never stayed in the same place for more than two nights in a row. Something inside him screamed bloody murder if he even thought about it, one word stuck out in his mind, and this one he didn’t know the meaning. _Wraith_. All he knew was that whatever it was it wasn’t good. 

He’d been exploring the world for a week before he came across anything of interest. The first thing he saw that made his mind work furiously to figure out was some type of rounded stone _thing_ with some funny symbols on top and in the middle a blue-ish sphere. He didn’t know what it was, unlike with most things, no words made themselves known. He did however feel that it was something he was familiar with. 

The second thing he found that he couldn’t remember was a large ring, not horizontal but vertical, he could step right through it. It too had strange symbols on it and he realised it related somehow to the other device he had found just a few metres away. These two contraptions intrigued him, and even though his brain kept telling him that staying in one place for too long, and near the ring in particular, would lead to trouble. And once again the word ran through his mind, _Wraith_ , like a whisper of memory. 

Whenever he wasn’t hunting or sleeping, he was studying the large ring. He knew it was somehow important but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t figure out what it did, or what the other device had to do with it. On his third day of camping beside the device something happened. 

A button was pressed, the strange symbol glowing blue, as well as the corresponding symbol on the ring. _Interesting_ he thought to himself, pushing another button and watching in child-like amazement as once again the symbols lit up. He had gotten through five of the 38 symbols; he intended to get through them all, when he heard a buzzing sound coming from the sky. He looked up and although he couldn’t see anything, he knew something was there. The large ring started glowing symbols he hadn’t pushed and when he noticed with astonishment all of the symbols had lit up, a large puddle-thing of _water?_ came whooshing out towards him. Instinctively he ducked even though it was a few metres away. The buzzing continued, getting louder with each passing second, he ran into the cover of some nearby trees and just in time as some sort of ship, _dart_ came out of the puddle-thing and straight into the air where it was joined by another that had come from above. 

His mind was racing, this wasn’t good, and these darts, whatever they were weren’t good. The buzzing grew louder and soon the sky was full of the buzzing things, darting here and there as if they were looking for something. He stayed hidden in the trees waiting to see when they would leave, more had come through the ring, _’gate_ , whatever that was, and had joined the others. Losing count of how many of the darts were circling the skies he wandered off deeper into the forest, no point waiting near the edge, they might see him. 

That night his sleep was fitful, every time he started to doze off the buzzing would get louder and a bright light could be seen somewhere deeper in the forest, a rustling sound and a wisp of something usually accompanied this. By morning they were gone, the skies were clear and the ‘gate was _empty?_ No it was inactive.


End file.
